frankaidenryan ([info]frankaidenryan) wrote,
@ 2006-02-16 20:23:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Twenty Reasons why Valentine's sucks.
1. Cards and flowers are less expensive on ANY other day.

2. Murphy's Law. Something WILL go wrong despite all your planning.

3. Your partner might get used to being spoiled. Don't give him ideas.

4. Sex is still just sex, with or without rose petals, dude.

5.Boxers with hearts on them don't do wonders for your masculinity.

6. What if it rains? Kiss your rented tux goodbye.

7. 20 million other couples got married on Valentine's. Be original!

8. Classy french restaurants still can't beat beer and pizza.

9. Which costs decicively less, I might add.

10. *Renting* that limo won't impress anybody. You still drive a crappy car every other day.

11. Forget hotels. The beds are always horrible.

12. What's that smell? Froofy soap and perfume? What are you, female?

13. Romantic comedies? Suck.

14. TRY getting a seat at the movies on Februry 14th. I dare ya.

15 Same for theaters. Although theaters do not suck, you could always go on February 16th.

16. By putting out on ONE day of the year you'll make it seem like an obligation to your partner.

17. Going against Captalism is totally hip, man!

18. Pink is the colour of Evil. It will clash with everything.

19. Sex and food do not mix. If you're of a different opinion, you can clean my bedsheets when I'm done.

20. Poetry? I've yet to see one Valentine's poem that wasn't tripe.Yes, love rhymes with dove. Wahey. It also rhymes with shove.


Copyright, Frank Aiden Ryan

(Post a new comment)

Random responses, or just working the snark muscles.
[info]jchance
2006-02-16 08:21 pm UTC (link)
Seriously, not trying to cut you off at the knees, just random thoughts for random thoughts. And, despite my general greater optimism, this past was still my first St V's Day alone after three with the same person...

3: But some of us _like_ spoiling people!

4: Shouldn't it more be special each time whatever day it is? But the rose petals in the bed do sound a bastard to clean up.

5: Worrying about your masculinity is even worse for your masculinity. That said, I hate boxers anyway. Bloody useless, they are.

6: Exactly where did you get that tux? A good suit stands up to water better than most casual clothes.

7: Agreed. And an anniversary on a holiday is almost as bad as having your birthday on one.

8: ...sometimes you have a taste for one, sometimes for the other. And most towns of any size have at least one classy Italian place if you do feel like the pizza...

10: ...anyone who much cares what you drive is a bit dodgily mercenary anyway. It's all about the theatre of it and putting yourself to trouble.

12: You do realise you're talking to (well, in my case) a Bath and Body Works addict? And I don't use scent, but my (unfortunately straight) first male crush did, and it worked for him...

13: Sturgeon's Law--Ninety percent of everything is crap.

14, 15: Hear, hear. More like just try getting _anywhere_ on the 14th. It was as bad as Christmas Eve, almost.

16: Isn't that the fault of the days preceding and following, really?

17: Yeah, but...Print cards, grow flowers, make gifts.

18: Everything goes with black. Ev-er-y-thing.

19: Never did see the appeal of that one myself.

20: I'd say "write your own", but I suck at verse. So...steal from the best. Dust off the old Norton Anthology and find a few pretty ones.

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: Random responses, or just working the snark muscles.
[info]frankaidenryan
2006-02-17 12:13 pm UTC (link)
Mmmhh, your snark muscles work just fine! Well done *bows*

4. Honestly, if someone were to pull the rose petal stunt with me I'd burst out laughing.

5. I have a Garfield boxer, actually. Miraculously my masculinity never complains. I like Garfield. *grinz*

6. I'll believe that, but I was implying more that the whole concept of a tux was to make you look snazzy. A wet suit only works of you're going for the 'elegantly wasted' look.

10. I don't really drive much of anything, to be honest. And yeah, avoid those people like the plague.

12. I could see it working for some. But geez, have I met some seriously oversaturated guys. The whole club would pass out.

17. This year, my boyfriend bought me a card and CD with horrible love songs for 49 cents. We took great pleasure in destroying it together.

18. Oh yes, but black and pink would still be Hmm!black and Gah!!pink. Like oil and water. Methinks.

19. Chocolate and semen? make me throw up. Happened to me once.

20. Although I'm well trained in boy/boy fluff, that's all prose. My poetry oozes with darkness rather than sweetness. ( I've got multiple Nortons and Heaths, though.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
More randomness.
[info]jchance
2006-02-17 09:28 pm UTC (link)
4: So would I. Although I'd also get somewhat pissed off--having practical-service kind of sub tendencies, I _know_ who'd clean the mess up.

5: They don't bother me on other people, I just don't see the percentage in underthings that offer no support.

6: ...well, arguably, elegantly wasted is the best I can do; my father's side of the family gave me a rather strong resemblance to Wilde. Although I'm also a big fan of coats and hats. Whatever you've got under it, shrugging off a classic 40s-style trench and slinging it over your shoulder like a Rat Packer is a _great_ entrance.

10: I have a slightly battered but incredibly dependable '02 Kia Spectra. I imagine it would act rather like Kryptonite to car-spotters of both sexes.

12: Yeah, too much is too much. Although, having mostly gone to goth clubs when I went to clubs at all, I'd hate to know how much cologne it would take to cut through the fug of smoke.

17: I like that. Although I could see doing MST3K on the dreadful music too...

19: Here's where being bi gives me an unfair advantage. The combination has associations for me both of manga prettyboys with black suits and pink shirts, and of various punkish girls.

19: Ewwwwwww. Bad combination. Even the people who are into that should restrict it to foreplay...

20: I envy you the ability to do poetry at all, believe me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: More randomness.
[info]frankaidenryan
2006-02-27 10:42 pm UTC (link)
Heheheh. I've decided I like you. I would have continued making snarky comebacks, but my boyfriend stayed over for the week and inhibited any and all computer activity. Mainly because whenever he wasn't with me, he was with my comp, happily playing Neverwinter Nights.

And about 19...yeah. One should never go "gluttony mode" on a box of chocolates and then decide to blow his partner right after.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: More randomness.
[info]jchance
2006-02-27 11:16 pm UTC (link)
Hey, thanks. And, believe me, I understand that two of the rules of online life are "RL comes first" and "every thread peters out." Although, also, the subject of sharing computers draws an involuntary eye-twitch from me...It was a source of tension between me and my exwife when we were together, and is a definite "never again."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: More randomness.
[info]frankaidenryan
2006-02-27 11:30 pm UTC (link)
...well, he hasn't moved in with me yet. I share him with his parents.
When he does move in? He SO gets his own PC. And never again touches mine! *evil laughter*
I know what you mean though, I would hate for us to get into a relationship where one has the PC and the other is bored or does chores or something. Sometimes that happens even now and it's not a good idea.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Create an Account
Forgot your login?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…